Chili's Grill and Bar

Crispy Chicken Tacos

My looks when my drink is too sweet...

My brother's family...i love them so much...

Me and my sweet sister in law...

Yesterday i had a big meal from Chilli's...the Crispy Chicken Tacos...hahaha..the meal is too big for me...almost two hours i've tried to finish the meal and at last i give up for the rice on it...heheh...my stomach is getting smaller i guess...cannot eat a lot already....heheh...look at the picture of me and my family in chili's and the meal that we ate...

I'm a queen now...

Hahahaha...have this big laugh in the office...can not control it anymore..i won a trophy and becoming a queen today...hahaha...so cute...receiving a gift today...so many observer and people concern about me i guess...hahaha...still cannot stop laughing and smiling...i love today...so many good things happen...

Melayu..

Adakah aku masih melayu..
Mencari jati diri seorg melayu..
Aku melayu moden kata seseorg..
Mengapa perlu kita menjadi melayu..

Adakah salah menjadi seorg melayu..
Begitu indah bangsa itu..
Begitu berbudaya melayu itu..
Penuh tata susila penuh peradaban..

Mengapa perlu malu menjadi melayu..
Melayu bangsa bertamadun dunia ini..
Gagah mempertahan tradisinya..
Kukuh kekal dengan caranya tersendiri..

Namun org melayu sendiri yg memperlekehkannya sendiri..
Takut digelar sebagai komunis di negeri sendiri..
Takut pada bayang-bayang sendiri juga..
Sentiasa mempertuankan bangsa lain dan bukannya bangsa sendiri..

Kita perlu maju ke depan..
Bukan tunggu dan lihat sahaja..
Buang semua sikap yg negatif..
Yang sering kali dikaitkan dengan seorg melayu..

Kita melayu berwibawa..
Kita melayu yang berjaya..
Kita melayu yg punya masa depan..
Kerna kita punya peluang mengubahnya semua..

Underneath the window

Looking at those glasses..
Only a transparent window can be seen..
A normal window with nothing special on it..
The transparency allow the scenery to be seen..

Underneath the window that's something on it..
Throwing those beautiful words and meaning..
Letting the flow of precious moment on it..
Diving to those sweetness and dream..

The heat may not be feel..
The cold my not be there..
Only the crafting of art making it real..
The artistic sculpture reveal..

The demon may not be bad..
The angel may not be good..
Just the matter of situation..
Making the mixture of it..

Explore the beauty underneath it..
Capture the meaning behind it..
Gasping those motion relying on it..
Understand the rhythm and lyrics beneath it..

3 months completed

Today 7/10/2008, I have completed my 3 months working in this new company. Wow...wee...how fast the time goes by...I'm still here standing still and doing my job. Incredible I'm able to stay and do this programming job...yeah...i manage to stay...hahaha...becoming the crazy and unique programmer i guess...cause programmer usually have the nerd attitude and always have the quiet mouth. But I'm the different one...the talkative and not nerd at all i guess...hahaha...interesting....ok..need to do my job now...later we continue...:)

How's my raya celebration?

Today everybody is asking me about my raya celebration. What can i said more...just okay that's the standard answer that i can give.But actually the truth is it's the worst and the sad celebration that i ever experienced. Just don't want to make others feel sympathy to me, i just answer okay.Let me write a little bit about my bad experienced.

On Monday 21/10/2008, I went home driving all the way from KL to my hometown Ipoh. I reached Ipoh early that afternoon. So what else to do right...helping my brothers to clean up the house and went to Tesco to buy some foods and other stuffs for raya celebration. Then at night, I went out with Gbum my best friend to accompany him to buy his baju raya. Then the next day, continues the raya preparation.

On the first day of raya, my brothers and my mom's went to visit abah grave and tok's one too. So only me and my sister left at home. This was the moment where we have big quarrel and argument. I am so sad at the moment, why my sister hate me so much and make me feeling like that on the Raya Day's that suppose to be a happy moment for everybody. What else i can do...i dump my face on the pillow and cry as much as i can...until my eyes turning into red...i feel like going back to KL on that moment. Luckily my car is not around...if not for sure i'll drive back to KL on the spot.What can i said...i'm just a normal person who have feeling, i feel so sad...so angry...and everything gone wrong the whole day.I feel little bit relief when went to relatives house rather than stay at home and look at my crazy sister i guess...

The second day of raya, i invite my mom's to visit our relatives in Penang...but everything was cancel when my sister want to follow too. It will be like a big war if we are in the same car right...rather than that happen, better i avoid it. Then i decide to visit my friends house in Ipoh...then i went to my sister in law house in Tapah, stay a night there. I feel so relief and peace there.

The third day, i already promise to my friend to cook spaghetti for them. So,i was rushing back from Tapah to Ipoh with my sister in laws and her children. This was another sad part i guess, when we just reach home in Ipoh, my mom's and the others want to go out and visiting other relatives. How would you feel,we just arrived at the moment and nobody bother about us and just ignore us and left us at the house without any greeting or welcoming. Oh God...why this happen to me...i've try my best to reunite the family and bring my sister in law...my nephew and my niece home and nobody ever bother about their present...oh...feel so sad and it's really hurt me and my sister so much.So, we decide to stay in hotel that night rather than facing our own family that do not welcome our present.We thought of just went back to KL that night but since my uncle is still in Penang and he really wanted to meet my sister in laws and her children, we decide to stay one night there.I feel so depress that night...feel like taking drugs...or taking any pills that can release me from all the problem. Thank god I still have friends who lend their ears to listen to my story and give good advice. I feel like i need a shoulder to cry on it.

So on the fourth raya...on Saturday, we prepare ourselves and went to my uncle house to meet him, my aunt and my cousins. We spent sometimes there dicussing about all what have happened. Then we went to my friend's house Abg Mamat Khalid open house. I feel quite happy and feel relief and also feel so welcome comparing going back to my own home.Meeting some other friends there...such as Along..Kak Nurul..Abg Lan's and his family...make me forget about all the crisis that i have gone through for the last few days...Then after that we drive back to KL. Thank god the highway is not jam...so our journey is smooth and reach KL safely.

That's the whole story for my vacation and my raya celebration. Just miss my dad's so much that moment and also now. If he is still alive, those situation won't be happened.If i think about that so much, i think i will be crazy and doing all the bad things i guess...just want to ignore everything at the moment and feel relief from all of this...coz it's really burden my feeling and heart so much...i write this up not to have any sympathy from anyone...just to release my burden by writing it up...

Challenge of life...

I have bad experience..
I have bad moment...
I have bad mood...
I have all the bad thing happen...

I feel like crying...
I feel so lonely...
I felt so empty...
I feel like dying...

What a terrible moment in life..
What a worst situation to be remember...
No smile and laughter left behind...
Just tears and sadness ever there for me...

That's make me wonders..
Should i make my life that misery..
Should i stay in sadness mode all the time...
Crying every night before i sleep...

Everything happen in life with a reason..
The bad thing make you stronger...
Make your thinking matured...
Make your life full of adventure...

What a bored life if everything is monotonous..
Nothing challenging happen to your life...
Nothing ever dare you for new thinking...
Nothing special that can make you remember all the time...

So i need to feel free of this...
Should bless my life so much...
Cause i have fluctuation moment in life...
That make my brain and my heart utilizing it to the max...

Hoping for all the sweetness for me...
Hoping for happiness again...
Hoping for my true smile and laughter again...
So that i can reveal the truth of me..

No more smile outside...
But sadness in side...
No more laughter shown...
But crying deep through it...