How's my raya celebration?

Today everybody is asking me about my raya celebration. What can i said more...just okay that's the standard answer that i can give.But actually the truth is it's the worst and the sad celebration that i ever experienced. Just don't want to make others feel sympathy to me, i just answer okay.Let me write a little bit about my bad experienced.

On Monday 21/10/2008, I went home driving all the way from KL to my hometown Ipoh. I reached Ipoh early that afternoon. So what else to do right...helping my brothers to clean up the house and went to Tesco to buy some foods and other stuffs for raya celebration. Then at night, I went out with Gbum my best friend to accompany him to buy his baju raya. Then the next day, continues the raya preparation.

On the first day of raya, my brothers and my mom's went to visit abah grave and tok's one too. So only me and my sister left at home. This was the moment where we have big quarrel and argument. I am so sad at the moment, why my sister hate me so much and make me feeling like that on the Raya Day's that suppose to be a happy moment for everybody. What else i can do...i dump my face on the pillow and cry as much as i can...until my eyes turning into red...i feel like going back to KL on that moment. Luckily my car is not around...if not for sure i'll drive back to KL on the spot.What can i said...i'm just a normal person who have feeling, i feel so sad...so angry...and everything gone wrong the whole day.I feel little bit relief when went to relatives house rather than stay at home and look at my crazy sister i guess...

The second day of raya, i invite my mom's to visit our relatives in Penang...but everything was cancel when my sister want to follow too. It will be like a big war if we are in the same car right...rather than that happen, better i avoid it. Then i decide to visit my friends house in Ipoh...then i went to my sister in law house in Tapah, stay a night there. I feel so relief and peace there.

The third day, i already promise to my friend to cook spaghetti for them. So,i was rushing back from Tapah to Ipoh with my sister in laws and her children. This was another sad part i guess, when we just reach home in Ipoh, my mom's and the others want to go out and visiting other relatives. How would you feel,we just arrived at the moment and nobody bother about us and just ignore us and left us at the house without any greeting or welcoming. Oh God...why this happen to me...i've try my best to reunite the family and bring my sister in law...my nephew and my niece home and nobody ever bother about their present...oh...feel so sad and it's really hurt me and my sister so much.So, we decide to stay in hotel that night rather than facing our own family that do not welcome our present.We thought of just went back to KL that night but since my uncle is still in Penang and he really wanted to meet my sister in laws and her children, we decide to stay one night there.I feel so depress that night...feel like taking drugs...or taking any pills that can release me from all the problem. Thank god I still have friends who lend their ears to listen to my story and give good advice. I feel like i need a shoulder to cry on it.

So on the fourth raya...on Saturday, we prepare ourselves and went to my uncle house to meet him, my aunt and my cousins. We spent sometimes there dicussing about all what have happened. Then we went to my friend's house Abg Mamat Khalid open house. I feel quite happy and feel relief and also feel so welcome comparing going back to my own home.Meeting some other friends there...such as Along..Kak Nurul..Abg Lan's and his family...make me forget about all the crisis that i have gone through for the last few days...Then after that we drive back to KL. Thank god the highway is not jam...so our journey is smooth and reach KL safely.

That's the whole story for my vacation and my raya celebration. Just miss my dad's so much that moment and also now. If he is still alive, those situation won't be happened.If i think about that so much, i think i will be crazy and doing all the bad things i guess...just want to ignore everything at the moment and feel relief from all of this...coz it's really burden my feeling and heart so much...i write this up not to have any sympathy from anyone...just to release my burden by writing it up...