Cicak and the geng...

I start this thread with a laugh...hahahaha....now i'm officially joining the group of cute animal club...haha...look at this notes from my friend from facebook...All my friends have their animal nickname that been given to each other for an easy recognition and for fun...la la la...

Starting with :
1) Abg Adeq - Beluncas
2) Acid(Bob) - Rabbit
3) Abg Kay - Burung Nuri
4) Abg Boy - Tenuk
5) Nipa - Tenggiling
6) Iza - Cicak
7) Kak Leena -Chekcibo
8) Tipah - Kodok

http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#/note.php?note_id=45246585975&ref=nf

Later i can become cicakwoman la...becoming a partner of cicakman...hahaha...watch out for the latest movie from your nearest cinema....cicakwoman vs cicakman....hahaha...is it so cute...:P

How you know that u are in love?

Today i have a lot of entry in this blog... maybe just do not know where to express my feeling...so this is the channel for me...hehe...such a total freak...i'm rather telling my stories here compare to other people that i didn't know very well....i think this wouldn't happen if hawa is around...hehe..my counselor...haha..

Here is my topic...how you know that u are in love?

It's an interesting topic to be explore right...hahah..suddenly i've just flash back all my love stories in my mind...

1. When u feel different feeling when u meet that guy or women. This feeling is unexplainable...u have that weird and fast heart beat i guess...hehe...i have that before...hehe...just do not know how to control it when it happen...hahaha
2. When u attracted with him/her not only because of his/her looks...but also his/her personality too.
   
3. When u feel like loosing something when u cannot see him/her. Seeing his/her face even a glace is just enough. This is because u will miss that face when it's not there.
4. When u miss that someone a lot while apart. Means when you cannot see each other u will miss him/her....one day feel like 100 days..haha...
5. When u feel happy when he/she is around u...the love make each other happy and shining all the glow from yourself.
6. When you have the joy and the laugh together.
   
7. When you have the tears and the sadness together too.
8. When you can share all your problems...your thought...your interest....your feeling and every part or your life with him/her.
9. When you feel comfortable talking and discussing about all topics.
10. When you trust him/her without no doubt.
11. When you feel the pain when that someone is in pain or sick. You just couldn't bare to see your love one suffering from any pain or sickness. You just want to be beside him/her when this happen, to make sure he/she recover faster.
12. When you know his/her mood from the looks that he/she have on the face and know how to cheer him/her up.
13. When you actually do not know what to talk about....but just love to talk with him/her. This speechless is one of the most romantic thing ever.Cause the silent actually showing that the love is too much until u just do not know how to describe it...haha..i've been through this before...looking at each other face and just enjoy the moment together without saying anything...
14. When it's too hard to tell him/her that actually u really love him/her so much. That's the true love ever....cause saying i love u is just a meaningful statement that need to be reserve to someone that really special for u...if u simply said it to everybody, then the value of saying it to the one that u really love is just nothing cause it's all the same with others.
15. When u keep on chasing him/her even you have so many hurdles to go through. Trying the best to attract him/her. You just don't bother what others are saying...u keep on doing what u think is good for u.
16. When you will do anything to just see him/her smiling and happy all the time.
17. When you can give and take for evey condition.
18. When you can tolerate with many condition.
19. When you can accept all the goods and the bad things in himself/herself.Accepting he/she as what they are.
20. When you keep on exploring and trying to understand him/her very well. This is the way for u to get close to him/her.
    
21. When you know his/her interest and what he/she likes and dislike.
22. When every moment with him/her is still fresh in your mind.You like recording everything in your little black box and you can smile alone when u think about it...hehe
23. The last but not least...is when u think about him/her most of the time...how he's/she's feel...what he's/she's doing...is he/she enjoying himself/herself....u just keep on thinking...thinking...and thinking about him/her.....u have his/her face image inside your mind all the time...u just want to be with him/her....no other man/woman...one and only....hehe...

Well...that's some of the clue to know whether you are in love...hehe...i'm not that expert...but this is some of the thing that i have gone through...hahah..i love to be in love...but now i need to take a break...cause loving someone is a pleasure at one time....and it's also a suffer when u are facing problem with it. But if you are in love, most of the time...u have happy moment and just enjoy the feeling...cause your love one will always be there for you in any condition. Even you are stress up...or down, a magic word or a hug from your love one will calm you. I just miss that moment so much...cause don't have anybody that can calm me down...hehehe...I should find new love now...hahah..new registration for new love application....hehe...

Some update: falling in love is a wonderful feeling but u cannot force yourself to be in love with someone that u don't love...cause i've experienced this too...try to love someone that i actually don't love...i mean i don't have that clue as above...just don't want to be alone i guess...or just want to be with someone and share my feeling but actually i don't really have the deep feeling of him in me...i just notice about it when i broke up, i just don't feel anything much..just miss his sms and calls only i guess....i don't really miss him...but his a nice guy...i've make up my mind and left him...cause i cannot lie to myself forever i tell myself i need to leave him before it's getting worst and let him fall in love with me that deep while i don't feel anything...i don't want my sympathy to be part of our relationship...cause love and sympathy is 2 different feeling that need to be separate...so...u must make up your mind...whether u really love him/her or it just the sympathy to stay with him/her and don't want to hurt his/her feeling by letting him/her go. Only u yourself know how's your feeling....so make a good decision...finding your true love from the eyes of your love one....to your heart...and to your soul....if u have all this combination, don't let him/her go...cause this is the one for u....soulmate searching....my next topic to be blog in...haha...

Java

I'm so disappointed at the moment...huhh...how can i think in java codes...my head is blank of this programming codes...i just do not know how to proceed or think of what to do next ...someone promise me to teach me....but i don't know when this will happen cause of other busy schedule that person have...so asking question to others would disturb their job...well...i'm torn between all the hurdles...i don't know when they are free and when they are busy....so sometimes i've been thinking...am i suitable for this job or not...should i find other opportunity or should i just proceed with this? i need to learn all by myself...sometimes this would be so stressful....cause i don't know it...i hate this at the moment...huhhh....i should learn this fast...owhhhh...

Materialistic girl...

I need to start this thread with a big laugh...hahahhahaha...yo...when I was on the way to office today, i was listening to hitz.fm and they have this special segment for christmas...they try to partner up solo person with someone so that they won't be celebrating christmas alone...hehe...so cute right...so there are a pair of man and woman involve in this conversation...what they need to to do is describing about themselves in 30 seconds...so what really attract me is when one girl is describing her as a hot girl...so sexy...she claim people told her that she's beautiful have nice smile and so on...so this man need to choose whether to stay alone with a hamster or choose to go out and celebrate christmas with this hot sexy girl...hahah...u know what this man answer he prefer to stay alone with a hamster rather than go out with this girl..he said that this girl must be a materialistic girl based on how she describe herself...hahaha...he said...if a woman claim herself that she's hot and sexy chick, she would be a materialistic girl....hahhahahha...because a woman that know she's hot and beautiful is always like that...that girl was so mad of this guy...she called him a looser...hahah...so funny la...the date is not able to be done cause of this...owh...materialistic girl...that the only issue that make this unsuccessful....hahahah...

Is marijuana really bad for me?

I'm thinking of this...is it really bad for me? need to search on this...someone say it is not bad...

"Marijuana is the safest drug out there including prescription. There is not a recorded death in history caused from marijuana.I just wanna get high and be happy. You see marijuana hasn't wrecked my life but this wrongful charge has. Marijuana, in its natural state is the most therapeutic medicines known to man. I know this, thousands of doctors know this and even many politicians know this, but it is still illegal."

http://www.geocities.com/medicalmarijuana2003/

should i take this to be happy???marijuana....wow...trying new things.....

Change..

I'm thinking of something serious and a big change now...i'm so confuse should i or shouldn't i...erm..thinking about this day by day....i should make this change truly with my heart and soul....am i ready for that? still another question marks puzzling inside my head...i'm so confuse...accepting or rejecting it? accepting meaning i'm changing my whole life...sooner or later i need to change also...now it's the matter of time...am i ready for this? Ahhh...just couldn't make up my mind now...so complicated...so difficult....so many thing to think...May Allah give me the Bless of everything...puzzle...puzzling...and puzzling again....think...and think...and think...and make the decision...Ohh....

I have no APPETIDE

Today..i feel so hungry...but i couldn't eat...i've bought one burger..but cannot finish it up...last week i have very high appetide...and now no appetide...is this the process of eliminating the poison or what...i'm just not sure...i will try to eat no matter what so that i won't get sick...think positive...i can do this...gambatte!!!

I'm reborn...

I'm reborn today....yehaaaa!!! i'm slowly get rid all the poison that i have for the past 2-3 years back...i'm trying my best so that the poison will go away....far away from my life...i'm deleting one thing at a time...no more wasting time for all this creepy thing....i thought i've get rid it before...actually no...still in my mind and heart...so today i declare to get rid it from my heart...my mind and my soul...i want myself back...i want my heart back...i want everything back...i want myself that have been lost during that time...i want me...and only me...that crazy girl which have a lot of dreams and a lot of thing that still stuck cause of this poison....hehe...I'm praying to God for all the success...:)

Bila aku menyedarinya...

semlm aku menyedari sesuatu...
sesuatu yg amat sukar dirungkai...
aku mahukan kebahagiaan itu...
namun aku begitu gentar...

aku mengimbas kembali...
nostalgia indah itu...
aku terkenang saat-saat itu...
aku tersenyum sendiri...

memori itu masih segar dlm kotak fikiranku...
segalanya direstui semua...
namun betulkah keputusanku ini...
itu aku masih keliru...

aku perlu nekad dgn yg ini...
aku mesti pasti dgn yg ini...
aku perlu yakin pada yg ini...
aku perlu memberi peluang ini...

moga aku betul kali ini..
moga aku teruskan dgn jaya..
moga aku terus-terusan tersenyum...
moga aku bisa peroleh kebahagiaan itu...

:)

I want Food...

Mango Desert

Sun Flower Pie Tie

Special ABC

Prawn Mee

Iced Passion Jumbo - top view

Iced Passion Jumbo - side view

Owh...i think i'm starving now...I'm thinking of food and food again. I didn't went for lunch just now cause I'm busy decorating the Christmas tree. And now the Christmas tree is fully decorated and have beautiful decoration on it i guess so...heheh...well...i'm not blogging about the christmas tree...but about food...huhh...i'm hungry...i wish i can go to memory corner and have iced passion jumbo with prawn mee...wow..so nice to have that....nyum2...some of food picture to share with u all...hehe...enjoy...

The field..

I can see wide field for me...
I can see that flag waving at me..
I can see that signal from that far...
The wind is helping me..

That field is mine...
I'm going towards it...
I'm trying to be on it...
I keep on moving near it...

Just a matter of time to determine it..
Just a matter of luck to grab it..
Just a matter of fate to be with it..
Only God knows how my field will look like..

I'm waiting for the time..
I'm putting my effort towards it..
I'm grabbing all the opportunity that i have..
To see the glowing success...

Sleep Problems and Disorder

I think I have my sleeping problems again...before i went to Iceland,the problem have been resolved. But now, after the Iceland trip, I was having a terrible sleeping disorder that effect my life so much...it's almost 1 weeks already that i don't have enough sleep. I can only sleep at around 3am and wake up several time within the sleeping time. I woke up around 6.30am to 7.00am. But i still feel so tired cause i don't have a very well sleeping time as i woke up almost every hour.Huhh...is such a tiring moment for me....need to wake up and go to work. I just make myself strong enough to complete the working time even though sometimes i was very sleepy and tired cause i don't have enough sleep and rest. I'm getting more restless and stress when i have several complicated issues that need to be done with my tired brain and also to think on how to make the screen functioning as requested. Owh..it's such a big problem for me now...should i take sleeping pills for this?

Everything is getting worst as I'm having so much problem with my condition right now....tired and restless. Last friday is the worst night ever as I couldn't sleep at all and what I can do is just crying and crying again to think about my miserable problem that I am facing now. I'm so stress up...so tired...feel sick...and unhealthy...added with several other problem that interfere too at this time, this can make me crazy i guess....at one time i feel like i couldn't cope with it anymore....i feel like dying....Oh God please help me on this... :(

Article that I read about sleep problems and disorder:
http://www.helpguide.org/life/sleep_disorders.htm

She went back home..

She went back home and leave me here....Oh...my best friend's Hawa went back to our home town Ipoh...:( .... Probably she's in her new office today....she's the one who i can trust and know all my good and bad stories...Oh...i really wish she can stay here in KL and be there with me...but she couldn't do that as her family needs her more than i am...We spent our time together last weekend...going round and round the city...i felt so sad with this...need to say goodbye to her....even though she's not that far only in Ipoh...but it's still far enough to go out and go for makan2 and jalan2 i guess...*sigh*...what ever it is...i wish Hawa to success in her career and becoming a successful businesswoman in future....don't forget about me to become your business partner k....take care my beloved buddy....love ya so much....I'm gonna miss u here.... (-_-)

Semalam

Semlm aku pulang terus ke rumah lepas keje...selalu aku mesti ada destinasi lain yg akan aku tujui...tp semlm tidak...kerna mata aku dah x leh nak bukak dah...mengantuk tahap dewa seperti aku kasi tau kat kawan2 aku..eh..tp sebelum smp umah pi amik baju kat laundry dulu..hehe...bahagia rasa baju aku semua dah basuh dgn jayanya...musim2 ujan nie anto dobi la apa agi..hehe...tp tue arr nak jadikan citer...ari ujan...smp jer kat umah aku nie kelam kabut nak tutup pintu keta...tetiba...gedebang!!! aduih...sakit giler kepala aku rasa....aku terhentak kepala aku kat pintu keta...sakit yg amat2...biul jap kepala aku...huhh....aku pon tahan jer ler sakit...masuk umah kat dlm bilik tengok kat cermin, darah dah mengalir kuar dr hentakkan td la tue...sakit sgt2...siap ada parut kat tepi muka aku nie...waaaa....dah ler x der org kat umah semlm...tinggal sowang2...cepat2 aku letak minyak...tp kepala aku tetap cam sengal2 smp ler sekarang nie...hopefully aku x ilang ingatan la kan...hahaha..ok...smbg keje dulu...

Setiap satu yg terjadi ada hikmahnya..

Ermm...setiap satu yg terjadi ada hikmahnya...aku terpanggil2 untuk memikirkan tentang statement ini....mungkin kerna sesuatu yg aku terbaca semlm...huhh....1987....lama sungguh tue kan....aku tersentuh dengan bahan bacaan yg aku terbaca tue....sungguh aku x sangka....sudah selama itu...sudah hampir umur aku....aku perlu mengkaji dan meneliti hikmah yg aku dpt dari situ...semoga aku dapat terus menerima reason2 tue kat dlm kotak fikiran aku dengan rasional...seperti kata temanku "thing happens for a reason sista!! :o)"

"well...that's why..the reason...a reason...few reason and a million of reason...everything is just a reason i guess...reasoning and reason again...trying to digest the reason by myself...so that i'm not making anymore reason to make a lot of reason...now i'm confused with all the reason...and the word of reason too...ermm...1987...huhh.."

Jadi sekarang aku perlu berfikir,menggeledah,mencari dan meneliti sehingga aku mendapat jawapan yg pasti...persoalan demi persoalan menempa??? wink wink...wink..wink....

Bunga...hehe

Aku menerima sedozen bunga ros merah hari nie...ermm....aku terkejut sgt2...sebab aku x tahu siapa penghantar bunga tersebut.Ermm....ada secret admire laks erk...hehe..byk kejutan yg aku terima minggu ini...otak aku masih ligat memikirkan siapa penghantar bunga tersebut...bermain teka-teki aku....aku tanya teman2 rapatku...dan masih tidak mendapat jawapan..walaupun berteka-teki tp aku tetap bahagia...ramai yg menyayangi aku rupanya...aku perlu membuka mata melihat mereka di sekeliling aku...heboh citer bunga nie kat ofis aku...haha...lawaks doo...semua teman2 sekerja ingin mengetahui siapakah penghantar misteri itu...aku sendiri pon xtau...Bila difikir-fikirkan, biar jer ler siapa penghantar bunga itu kerna die mungkin selesa begitu kan...aku hanya akan tunggu dan lihat sahaja jer...kalo die nak reveal diri die biarlah dgn rela kan...so just enjoy the flower dan membunga2 kan hati ini...aku suka...

Moment

The wind is blowing on it's own...
Letting the flow over the trees...
The air on the wind...
Make me feel like the wind is hugging me...

Feeling so relax..
Calming my heart and my soul...
Relaxing the mind...
Making the mind blowing and soothing...

Love this moment...
Love the wind so much...
Sharing the moment with me...
Happiness on my own...

Smiling is with me...
Happiness is on my side...
My heart and soul is together now...
Enjoy my life every seconds and minutes...

Lying make me sick...

Today i received 2 news...one good one and one bad one...the bad news is just spoiling my mood today....but at least i know the truth...just don't want to hide behind the closet...ermm...why need to lie to me....as i can accept any condition as long as not lying...no lying...no lying....no lying please...i hate liar....u all are suck....suck and suck...

Iceland

Wow...wee...junior jue....hehehe...at last it's Wednesday...i'll be going to iceland today at 9p.m...
I've done with my packing last night....even the packing is a bit hassle for me as the bag is making problem for me...hahah...so funny la...nevermind i've change to the other bag...hopefully everything is okay now...so excited....la la la...Iceland here i come...first time for me to travel this far and to see the other side of the world....can't explain my excitement...so happy...i will be on the blue sky again and also will enjoy myself in iceland with my officemates...la la la...Iceland...Iceland...Iceland....i did some research on the places that we wil be visiting and the result is awesome....the places is tremendously beautiful...good ambience and everything seem so good...the spa...the blue lagoon...the perlan restaurant...the viking dinner...the golden circle...
The best part too,i'll be extending my stay in copenhagen for 2 days...exploring Copenhagen and enjoying myself there...Hope everything goes well....

But the worries is only concern on the cold weather as the weather forecast stated the temperature is about 4 degree Celsius to -4 degree Celsius...huhh...that's so cold right...hopefully my clothing can bare myself with the weather....la la la...my jacket...my longjohn....my ear muff....my shawl....my snow cap...and everything will help me warm...just don't want to think about it too much....just wanna enjoy the trip as much as i can....okay everybody....pray for my journey k...:)

My nephew concert day

I'm so impressed with my nephew Adam...he got the talent to become a penguin...hahah...he did well in his concert yesterday....it was a great concert, those little children is making a tremendous effort and make their concert day happen very well...a round of a big applause to the teachers who make it happen....but only one problem that i face when attending the concert is when the event is using mandarin as a medium language to conduct the event...haha...apa lagi...aku ngan family abg aku main agak jer la apa yg die ckp or just tanya other chinese parent yg faham...kelakar kan...hahaha...yg lain semua okay...

Otak Aku Ringan

Aku rasa otak aku ringan sungguh hari nie...mana x nyer semlm aku dah luahkan semua yg terbuku kat dlm hati...kat otak dan kat perasaan aku kat best friend aku...semua benda2 yg berserabut kat dlm otak aku selama hari nie dah berjaya diluahkan...menangis...mur

am...ketawa dan bermcm2 expression aku masa meluahkannya....tp betul la after that aku rasa otak aku ringan tul...macam satu beban besar kat dlm otak aku dah dikuarkan dengan jayanya...berkongsi masalah yg aku hadapi dari pelbagai penjuru ini dengan teman yg sgt rapat ngan aku dpt meringankan segala-galanya..Kitaorg siap berdiskusi tentang byk perkara...otak aku ligat berfikir macam mana nak atasi...macam mana nak jd better person...mcm mana nak stay happy...mcm2 agi la...coz best friend aku nie mmg sgt kenal aku dan dia paham camner aku yg sebenarnya...smp satu tahap aku ckp ngan die...kalo die lelaki la kan aku confirm kita dah leh jd couple...hahaha...sib baik aku nie straight kalo x dah couple dah ngan minah nie..hahaah...sebab...aku dah cam jumpa diri aku balik....xmo jd org yg sentiasa sedih jer...bosan dooo....penat la nangis jer...aku nak gelak2...happy2...mcm xder masalah yg dihadapi....tp bila masalah dtg dari semua angle hidup aku, aku jd sgt lemah...so bila dah luahkan walaupun sebenarnya x ler settle masalah aku cuma beban kat otak jd ringan...tue yg aku suka tue...aku suka sgt2...aku rasa aku senyum dan gelak dr dlm hati aku hari nie...dah lama aku x rasa camtue...bayangkan aku hanya mampu ketawa from the surface but not inside...but today aku berjaya tersenyum dr dlm hati aku smp keluar...aku suka sgt....:)...I'm Happy...Thank you so much Hawa...u make me back to track...aku sayang sgt kat kamu temanku...lain kali kita pi wat diskusi kita lagi k...best sebab dah lama kita x wat camtue...kita kan org2 yg different from others...smp pemikiran pon lain dooo...hahahah....

Traffic Light

Last night, i went to Cineque Office in Mutiara Damansara to meet Abg Iqbal. This is the first time ever i watched Abg Iqbal short film "Traffic Light". Before this i only heard about the film from Abg Lan...Abg Mamat and Ajib only....they said that the film was nice and good. But what i can said here, the film was awesome man....cause i know how hard Abg Iqbal did while doing the shooting of this short film...the hassle that he need to go and with the outcome that i watched yesterday, it was tremendously awesome work from him...Congratulation to him for his wonderful work.

"Traffic Light" the movie for you to think about the reality life that people undergo in their life.When jealousy overcome yourself, you will have a lot of bad impression and thought in your mind...so be careful of this...The story of a man that don't have a trust of his wife....jeng..jeng..jeng...there's where the story begin....

Loneliness

Loneliness...
Why should we be afraid of this word..
Why should we have this in our dictionary..
Why should we be in loneliness...

Those question playing around on the box..
Feeling like looking at the big world and only you is there..
Alone with nobody around you...
Facing the reality of life all alone...

This feeling is killing you...
This feeling is making you hiding yourself from the world..
You feel so alone when you have no shoulder to cry...
You feel alone when you cannot share your joy and tears...

Loneliness is creating the story...
Negative thought is always in mind..
Affecting the walk of your life...
You can only see sadness and tears all along...

Aku dan sakit...

Tubuhku sejuk tak semena-mena...
Jantungku berdegup cepat...
Nafasku seperti tak keruan...
Otakku seperti tidak boleh berfikir...

Apa semua ini...
Sakit apa yg aku alami ini...
Badanku seperti mengigil...
Aku seperti ingin menangis saat ini...

Kesejukkan ini membaluti tubuhku...
Fobia penyakit apa ini...
Bagaimana untuk mengatasi semua ini...
Hanya tulisan ini mampuku tulis...

Aku cuba menenangkan diriku...
Jangan layan sakit bodoh ini..
Jangan hiraukan semua ini...
Ketawa ubatku untuk terus lari dari semua ini...

Aku di awan biru..

Khamis lepas merupakan pengalaman pertamaku berada di awan biru...terasa begitu teruja terbang di awan...walaupun aku sebenarnya tidaklah 100% sihat lagi selepas baru sahaja pengsan di office kira2 2 hari sebelumnya...aku gagahkan jua diriku meneruskan trip aku ke Kota Kinabalu kerna begitu excited dan ingin rasa terbang di awan seperti burung yg bebas di angkasa...mmg begitulah yg aku rasa semasa berada di dlm flight hari itu...seperti burung yg terbang gembira di angkasa...melihat awan biru memberi semangat baru...

Something to share with...

While i'm on the way to office today, i'm listening to Light and Easy Radio station...they had a great topic to discuss it on. It's really attract my attention to listen on the topic....the topic is "how you handle your anger- anger management". There's one doctor discussing with the DJ regarding this issue..it's really a good thing to hear in the morning as i am always stuck in jam right who usually can make yourself get in angry situation...heheh...

So what i can conclude from their discussion are these:
1) When you are angry, practice this principal - STOP....LOOK and GO.
What is this all about right? Erm...the doctor said, we should 'STOP' the anger in ourselves as anger is all about your mind and body...so stop from manupulating the situation that make us angry off. Means if you are in any conversation that make you angry off, stop the conversation. Then practice the second principal 'LOOK' which mean you need to look on the matter that make you get angry..why the situation happen and think rational on it. If this still cannot be done, practice the third principal 'GO', get off from the situation or from the person that your get angry off...try to avoid from making your anger boosting to the maximum.

2) The doctor also stated that in order to reduce your anger too, keep on smiling as this will make yourself feel comfortable and happy inside and also outside.Smiling can boost up your immune system and it is also the best pain killer of all,the doctor added in their conversation.

Erm...this is just some theories to be practice right...hehe...am i able to follow this principal while i'm in anger yeah....not sure yet...but this is something good to share with all of you...just bare in mind...you can control yourself but you cannot control the situation happen around you...but sometimes i can't even control myself too...cause i'm just a normal person which have weaknesses inside...nobody is perfect...just remmember that...:) enjoy your day everybody...i'm letting my fear off but yet not 100% off cause still in fobia i guess....if anybody know how to handle this...can you share it with me...i love to know about it...:)

Fear..

Today i just could see invasion..
Feel like surrounding with unknown thing...
The heart is working so fast..
The beat is heating the body..

The mind is engraving for mercy...
From the outskirt of the shell..
Hoping for miracle to happen..
Letting me go to the grain..

The fear is conquering me..
The mind is creating stories..
Making the gravity on it's own..
I feel so unsecured...

I'm begging to me..
To let the calm come near me..
Releasing the fear..
To walk away from my way...

I'm scared and worried...

I'm scared and worried at the moment..you know what...after i went back home around 6.15 pm, i went to buy some fuel from Petronas nearby...huhh...i was just went to the cashier and on the way back from the cashier place to my car, one man give me a smile and block my way back to my car...he started talking to me...he was like harassing me for hours....huhh...OMG i just do not know how to run away from that situation...he wanted to get in the car....luckily there's pam attendant there and help me on that...i still cannot run away..when he just standing near the car...lastly, i couldn't do anything much and just give my business card to him...i am quite stupid in this...that's the only way i can get lost from that situation..huhh...firstly i feel like it is funny that this strange man is so brave to talk and ask me about something...but when he keep on pushing me with irrelevant statement and questions, this make me scared....OMG....now i need a hug....i'm so scared...waaaaaa.....how should i go to work tommorrow...waaaaaa....huhh... :(

Hujung minggu yg padat...

Aku kini lebih positif menikmati hidupku ini. Bagaimana hendak aku katakan..aku perlu melapangkan dada aku untuk semua perkara. Buat apa nak susah hati untuk benda2 remeh kan. Cam dak kecik tul aku rasa..tp tue la kadang2 biler badan penat,otak dan perasaan jd x centre. Tido pon penting gaks tau...kalo x cukup tido, badan rasa cam meragam jer...semua serba x kena.

Hujung minggu yg baru lepas nie, aku asyik pi open house jer...makan...makan...dan makan...heheh..abis ler bertambah bulat dan tembam ler...dah ler mmg dah tembam kan...hahahah...Tp aku rasa aktiviti aku padat sgt2 smp aku xder masa nak squeeze utk diri aku. Nak pi salon nak pi shopping...nak pi relax2...semua cam x sempat. Tp apa2 pon aku tetap happy...yehaa...kegembiraan itu tetap terasa walaupun penatnya cam x abis agi nie..Pg td rasa cam penatnya nak bangun pi keje...tp aku gagahi jua...keje kena keje la kan...nama pun periuk nasi yg kena dijaga...kalo x sapa ler nak kasi duit tiap2 bulan..bukan aku ada sugar daddy yg leh tanggung atau ada daddy yg betul2 leh kasi...hahaha...

Last Friday aku layan live band ngan member aku kat Alexis Bistro...layan gaks bandnya...penyanyi die power beb...suara besar..best tul. Tp pastue kitaorg kena dismiss awal coz ada mamat mana ntah pi hisap cerut kat area non smoking laks tue. Pastue kitaorg pi pusing2 kl...layan suasana malam di kl...tengok lampu2 dan life in kl at night beb..heheh. Balik agak lewat gaks la. Tido x yah ckp la mmg lewat la.

Pagi Sabtu tue aku punya ler terkejut, aku terjaga dapat msg member aku masuk hospital. Cam nak jatuh jantung aku terkejut. Dia agak kena denggi...aku nie sensitif sket kalo hospital2 nie...terkejutnya cam beruk terkejut...hehehe...camner agaknya erk...hahaha...Pastue aku nie kelam kabut bangun siap2 nak pi hospital la kan...kalo ikutkan nak smbg tido jer coz awal pagi agi ooo...tido pon baru dlm 2-3 jam jer...tp aku syg member aku nie...takut laks jd apa2 nanti...dah siap aku call balik die, die kata tengah tunggu ujian darah...suspen tul...die ckp batuk2 kuar darah...lg la aku nie suspen...tengah aku nak pergi ke hospital aku call balik die kata doktor dah kasi kuar...x kena denggi...cuma kena tonsil...bengkak teruk...lega aku rasa...so kitaorg pon jumpa la kat Steven Corner...lapo ooo..breakfast la apa agi...ari sabtu tue gaks bum best friend aku dr ipoh dtg kl...mmg berterabur jadual aku...nie pon member..yg lg satu pun member...so jaga org sakit nie jap pastue patutnya jumpa bum kat OU...tp coz ada some miscommunication, x jumpa2 gaks...sampai ler kul 12 midnight jumpa kat Rain Forest kat Sunway...badan dah cam penat sgt2..the whole day aku penuh ngan aktiviti...sementara tunggu si bum aku sempat gi open house...uruskan hal ghazal and PA system ngan ajib...ke hulu dan ke hilir...tp aku still rasa happy dikelilingi oleh org2 yg aku sayang dan diorg sayang aku...bestnya....

Hari ahad...huh...aku bangun awal gaks...kena anto bum balik....member die jemput kat area titiwangsa katanya....mmg aku x cukup tido la ujung minggu nie la kan..pas pekena lunch kat ikan bakar kg. baru...anto bum kat titiwangsa...aku terus balik umah....smbg tido...penat dooo....3 hari berturut2 tido 2-3 jam jer nie...nak qada' tido...tp pastue kakak ipar aku ajak pi open house kat gombak laks...nie pun kena entertain gaks ooo...kakak ipar aku yg tersyg nie...aku minta die permission tido jap jer...mata dah cam x leh bukak doo..layan tido jap around kul 3 ptg aku siap2 pi open house laks...makan time...yehaa....hahaha...laksa ngan nasi impitnya mmg meletop beb...best doo...worth it utk pi sana...pastue smp umah dah maghrib...jln MRR2 tue jam cam hampeh...ari ahad pon jam teruk...aduih...malaih nak pikir dah...mlm semlm ajib call ajak lepak kat NZ curry house laks...aku dah mmg x larat la kan...kena laks ujan..takut kena sempot aku terpaksa menolak perlawaannya...

Itu ler aktiviti aku yg sgt padat....hahaha...nie pon cam rasa ting tong agi nie...hahaha...keje...keje...keje...hahahha

Awaken demon..

I'm on the hard road..
Really in deep pain that nobody know..
Feel like staying in the dark prison..
Where I can only see darkness inside..

The thing that i afraid off is repeating again..
I have no luck until now..
Only see the sorrow and the pathetic life of my own..
Getting worst day by day..

I'm waken up my demon..
Cause i cannot be an angel to stand still..
Now i will stay on my dark side..
Where my tears is replacing my laugh..

My sadness is replacing my joy..
No more sincere smile i guess..
Only the fake one will reveal..
I need to build the tough wall..

Cause my heart is no more there..
Only the heartless one still live..
Where do not know what is happiness means..
I'm the demon of my own now..

Silence..

Silence of the great passion..
I'm in a silent mode..
Flowing on the greatest road..
Looking at those street..

Lasting for the ancient world..
Remaining in this beautiful world..
I just do not know what is this...
Making me confuse all day..

I'm letting the pain off..
I'm giving the passion in..
But still scared the past will sustain..
Making another history of it's own..

Am I still in this dreaming world..
Still not wake up and overload with it..
The silence is making me crazy..
Experimenting all that I gain..

Now I'm just following the flow..
Breaking the wall of my own..
Letting the door open..
Cherish the silence that i own..

On the float

Floating on the float..
Lost in the deep ocean..
Throwing the desert blooming on the throat..
Flying forwards on the orchard road..

Searching for the treasure..
Finding the way of conquering the globe..
Lot's of rocks and obstacles..
The wall is tough to been thrown..

Exploring every air on it..
Making the breath feel like losing..
The great master is grooving..
And still floating on the float...

People

People walking in life..
People running in life..
There's people walk and run in..
There's people walk and run out..

Lot's of chain make it happen..
Lot's of reason make the wheel spiral..
Letting the circle to be complete..
Make the big round on the floor..

Laughing make the day full of excitement..
Enjoy every moment and seconds..
But yet life need to balance..
Excitement and sadness..

Truly beautiful philosophy to be known..
For every laugh..
There will always a tears..
The tears maybe for happiness nor the sadness..

People come and go..
Retain the memories of their own..
Left their steps behind on the shore..
Making beautiful canvas on your heart..

Chili's Grill and Bar

Crispy Chicken Tacos

My looks when my drink is too sweet...

My brother's family...i love them so much...

Me and my sweet sister in law...

Yesterday i had a big meal from Chilli's...the Crispy Chicken Tacos...hahaha..the meal is too big for me...almost two hours i've tried to finish the meal and at last i give up for the rice on it...heheh...my stomach is getting smaller i guess...cannot eat a lot already....heheh...look at the picture of me and my family in chili's and the meal that we ate...

I'm a queen now...

Hahahaha...have this big laugh in the office...can not control it anymore..i won a trophy and becoming a queen today...hahaha...so cute...receiving a gift today...so many observer and people concern about me i guess...hahaha...still cannot stop laughing and smiling...i love today...so many good things happen...

Melayu..

Adakah aku masih melayu..
Mencari jati diri seorg melayu..
Aku melayu moden kata seseorg..
Mengapa perlu kita menjadi melayu..

Adakah salah menjadi seorg melayu..
Begitu indah bangsa itu..
Begitu berbudaya melayu itu..
Penuh tata susila penuh peradaban..

Mengapa perlu malu menjadi melayu..
Melayu bangsa bertamadun dunia ini..
Gagah mempertahan tradisinya..
Kukuh kekal dengan caranya tersendiri..

Namun org melayu sendiri yg memperlekehkannya sendiri..
Takut digelar sebagai komunis di negeri sendiri..
Takut pada bayang-bayang sendiri juga..
Sentiasa mempertuankan bangsa lain dan bukannya bangsa sendiri..

Kita perlu maju ke depan..
Bukan tunggu dan lihat sahaja..
Buang semua sikap yg negatif..
Yang sering kali dikaitkan dengan seorg melayu..

Kita melayu berwibawa..
Kita melayu yang berjaya..
Kita melayu yg punya masa depan..
Kerna kita punya peluang mengubahnya semua..

Underneath the window

Looking at those glasses..
Only a transparent window can be seen..
A normal window with nothing special on it..
The transparency allow the scenery to be seen..

Underneath the window that's something on it..
Throwing those beautiful words and meaning..
Letting the flow of precious moment on it..
Diving to those sweetness and dream..

The heat may not be feel..
The cold my not be there..
Only the crafting of art making it real..
The artistic sculpture reveal..

The demon may not be bad..
The angel may not be good..
Just the matter of situation..
Making the mixture of it..

Explore the beauty underneath it..
Capture the meaning behind it..
Gasping those motion relying on it..
Understand the rhythm and lyrics beneath it..

3 months completed

Today 7/10/2008, I have completed my 3 months working in this new company. Wow...wee...how fast the time goes by...I'm still here standing still and doing my job. Incredible I'm able to stay and do this programming job...yeah...i manage to stay...hahaha...becoming the crazy and unique programmer i guess...cause programmer usually have the nerd attitude and always have the quiet mouth. But I'm the different one...the talkative and not nerd at all i guess...hahaha...interesting....ok..need to do my job now...later we continue...:)

How's my raya celebration?

Today everybody is asking me about my raya celebration. What can i said more...just okay that's the standard answer that i can give.But actually the truth is it's the worst and the sad celebration that i ever experienced. Just don't want to make others feel sympathy to me, i just answer okay.Let me write a little bit about my bad experienced.

On Monday 21/10/2008, I went home driving all the way from KL to my hometown Ipoh. I reached Ipoh early that afternoon. So what else to do right...helping my brothers to clean up the house and went to Tesco to buy some foods and other stuffs for raya celebration. Then at night, I went out with Gbum my best friend to accompany him to buy his baju raya. Then the next day, continues the raya preparation.

On the first day of raya, my brothers and my mom's went to visit abah grave and tok's one too. So only me and my sister left at home. This was the moment where we have big quarrel and argument. I am so sad at the moment, why my sister hate me so much and make me feeling like that on the Raya Day's that suppose to be a happy moment for everybody. What else i can do...i dump my face on the pillow and cry as much as i can...until my eyes turning into red...i feel like going back to KL on that moment. Luckily my car is not around...if not for sure i'll drive back to KL on the spot.What can i said...i'm just a normal person who have feeling, i feel so sad...so angry...and everything gone wrong the whole day.I feel little bit relief when went to relatives house rather than stay at home and look at my crazy sister i guess...

The second day of raya, i invite my mom's to visit our relatives in Penang...but everything was cancel when my sister want to follow too. It will be like a big war if we are in the same car right...rather than that happen, better i avoid it. Then i decide to visit my friends house in Ipoh...then i went to my sister in law house in Tapah, stay a night there. I feel so relief and peace there.

The third day, i already promise to my friend to cook spaghetti for them. So,i was rushing back from Tapah to Ipoh with my sister in laws and her children. This was another sad part i guess, when we just reach home in Ipoh, my mom's and the others want to go out and visiting other relatives. How would you feel,we just arrived at the moment and nobody bother about us and just ignore us and left us at the house without any greeting or welcoming. Oh God...why this happen to me...i've try my best to reunite the family and bring my sister in law...my nephew and my niece home and nobody ever bother about their present...oh...feel so sad and it's really hurt me and my sister so much.So, we decide to stay in hotel that night rather than facing our own family that do not welcome our present.We thought of just went back to KL that night but since my uncle is still in Penang and he really wanted to meet my sister in laws and her children, we decide to stay one night there.I feel so depress that night...feel like taking drugs...or taking any pills that can release me from all the problem. Thank god I still have friends who lend their ears to listen to my story and give good advice. I feel like i need a shoulder to cry on it.

So on the fourth raya...on Saturday, we prepare ourselves and went to my uncle house to meet him, my aunt and my cousins. We spent sometimes there dicussing about all what have happened. Then we went to my friend's house Abg Mamat Khalid open house. I feel quite happy and feel relief and also feel so welcome comparing going back to my own home.Meeting some other friends there...such as Along..Kak Nurul..Abg Lan's and his family...make me forget about all the crisis that i have gone through for the last few days...Then after that we drive back to KL. Thank god the highway is not jam...so our journey is smooth and reach KL safely.

That's the whole story for my vacation and my raya celebration. Just miss my dad's so much that moment and also now. If he is still alive, those situation won't be happened.If i think about that so much, i think i will be crazy and doing all the bad things i guess...just want to ignore everything at the moment and feel relief from all of this...coz it's really burden my feeling and heart so much...i write this up not to have any sympathy from anyone...just to release my burden by writing it up...

Challenge of life...

I have bad experience..
I have bad moment...
I have bad mood...
I have all the bad thing happen...

I feel like crying...
I feel so lonely...
I felt so empty...
I feel like dying...

What a terrible moment in life..
What a worst situation to be remember...
No smile and laughter left behind...
Just tears and sadness ever there for me...

That's make me wonders..
Should i make my life that misery..
Should i stay in sadness mode all the time...
Crying every night before i sleep...

Everything happen in life with a reason..
The bad thing make you stronger...
Make your thinking matured...
Make your life full of adventure...

What a bored life if everything is monotonous..
Nothing challenging happen to your life...
Nothing ever dare you for new thinking...
Nothing special that can make you remember all the time...

So i need to feel free of this...
Should bless my life so much...
Cause i have fluctuation moment in life...
That make my brain and my heart utilizing it to the max...

Hoping for all the sweetness for me...
Hoping for happiness again...
Hoping for my true smile and laughter again...
So that i can reveal the truth of me..

No more smile outside...
But sadness in side...
No more laughter shown...
But crying deep through it...

White..

White..
The truth color of all...
The fundamental color around...
Can change to what ever it want...
Pure and serenity...

White..
A magic in life..
Cause it suit in what ever it is...
It just stay as it's own...
Bold and beautiful enough...

White..
Is a color of life..
It's belong to everyone...
It's you who colored it up...
Making most colorful life of all...

Hari Raya Aidilfitri...

Another 4 days we will be celebrating Hari Raya Aidilfitri...feel like singing raya song at the moment. I haven't done my raya shopping yet...waa...no baju raya yet...maybe should buy at least one today or tommorrow...Celebrating raya without my beloved father for the second year...it wouldn't be the same ever...the memories with my father(abah)celebrating raya from the previous year is still fresh in my mind...that's the most sadness part ever that i need to go each raya after abah pass away...i'm also quite sad cause my brother and my sister wouldn't be around celebrating Hari raya with us...it would be only...me..my little brother and my second brother at home..only the 4 of us at home...I'll try my best to make everybody happy by visiting my relatives and friends around...

Hope i can just enjoy my raya well...
"Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri : Maaf Zahir & Batin" to all my friends and all muslim around the world...

Enligten the day...

If i could be like Albert Einstein...
If i could be like Alexander Graham Bell...
They are a great inventor..
They are the brilliant person...

They are making our life easier...
They have the guts and the strength to make it happen...
They have the great mind and thought...
They have the ability to make it happen...

They believe in what they are doing...
They believe in their success...
They never give up..
They go all out..

I should have that guts and strength too...
I should have that believe too..
I should allow the light to enlighten me...
I should try my best and make it happen...

I know i can do this..
I know i have that brain to utilize it..
I just need to have that fundamental right..
I need to have that time to polish it up...

I hope I'll be that positive girl...
I hope i will never drown..
I hope everything goes well..
I should love what ever i do...

May God bless on me..
May everything success for me..
May I let the negative spirit gone..
May I go all out...

Let it be...

I feel like jumping in the pool...
Enjoying the cool water..
Reducing the body temperature...
Feeling free from all the stress...

But i must be crazy to make that...
I must be out of mind to make it reality...
However looking at the flow of the water make me release...
Making me thinking i should just let it be..

What ever happen there must be a reason..
Maybe that's a good result at the end of it..
I must make myself back to track..
Enjoying all the moment and seconds cause life is too short...

Morning Stress

Ahh...i'm stuck in jam for an hour today...just hate that situation so much...i thought of going to work early so that i can dismiss early to go to Damansara today...huh...but even i went out from home before 8a.m i can not reach office early...coz i'm stuck in terrible jam...jam which hardy move....aaaaa...make my body temperature going up...if i always like this it will lead me to high blood pressure...ermm....hate this situation so much...making the situation worst, there are some people who are not living in civilisation manner, cut the long que....i feel like scolding them like a stepmother so that they know how to que up properly...i need to find a way to cool down myself....need to get some idea on that...to overcome this morning stress...?????

My best friend and dream...

I've been thinking of my best friend along the way to office today...how is he? it's been so long i've never contact him...suddenly i miss him so much now...i hope he recover well from he's injury...hopefully i'll be able to see him during this Hari Raya and hang out with him...a lot of stories i want to tell him...hopefully he will bare with me listening to my stories and my talking...and i also hope my 10 years friendship with him will last long even we have own partner later...

I want to tell him that i have a great dream yesterday....i dream of someone cycling with me in a wonderful place together happily...huh...even i was so sick yesterday, i still can have that beautiful dream...feel like laughing at the moment...hehe...but it's just a dream...the world of fantasy...but nobody know it maybe a reality one day...hahaha...another big laugh from me...ermm...i think i need to do my work now...work with happy mood i guess cause have that wonderful dream...

I feel sick

OMG...it's near Hari Raya and i feel sick...my body feel so weak at the moment...my mind feel so tired...my thought is out of space...oh...i need to complete my task...i feel so cool...my body is shaking...oh...dear...i feel so sick...my eyes feel so watery..my throat feel so dry...i hate this so much...i need to be a strong girl...ahhh...feel like crying for my situation...don't want to sick...

Coretanku...

Kebisuanku bukan beerti aku berubah..
Menyepi diri di balik jendela...
Mencari erti sebuah kerinduan..
Agar bisa mencoret seribu pengertian...

Namun sapa yg bisa mengerti..
Pengertian yg sukar difahami...
Di balik buih-buih itu...
Tersorot seribu rahsia...

Mencari noktah yg hakiki...
Biarkan kerinduan itu berlalu...
Mencari jawapannya sendiri...
Semoga lautan itu bisa menjadi milliku yg pasti...

Biarkan bayangan itu berlalu...
Mencari dirinya sendiri...
Merungkai rahsia yang terpendam...
Menjawab seribu satu rahsia...

Wind and Leaves...

When the wind whisper to the tree..
I can see the tree following the flow of the wind...
What a wonderful thing...
The leaves is dancing happily around...

What a relief moment...
Make me realize what a wonderful world it is...
The wind is making the leaves swing all over...
While they enjoying the moment together..

So special..
So unique...
Enjoying the moment of your life...
Spending time with someone that you love...

I've been wondering...
Should i open my heart again...
For someone new...
Someone who can make me happy like the wind and the leaves...

(^_-) eyza

Are You Right or Left Brained?

I get this from Lee blog...haha...so cool to test this...
I'm the Right Brained Girl...hahaha...day dreaming girl...what ever it is...i need to accept and love myself...

http://www.blogthings.com/areyourightorleftbrainedquiz/

You Are 35% Left Brained, 65% Right Brained

The left side of your brain controls verbal ability, attention to detail, and reasoning. Left brained people are good at communication and persuading others. If you're left brained, you are likely good at math and logic. Your left brain prefers dogs, reading, and quiet. The right side of your brain is all about creativity and flexibility. Daring and intuitive, right brained people see the world in their unique way. If you're right brained, you likely have a talent for creative writing and art. Your right brain prefers day dreaming, philosophy, and sports.

Women...Desired and Temptation..

My new shoes...within 2 days..hahaha..

Ermm...what should i write here...women...desired and temptation. Born as a women, we have a lot of desired to be fulfill....temptation of having something and everything. Today me and Nahla was discussing about warehouse sale....huh...my temptation and desired to attend all the warehouse sale is so high at the moment. Today my colleague Liz went to "NOSE" warehouse sale that i already blog yesterday, she was so happy bought 8 pairs of shoes. She said that the design will be changing everyday. Wow...my temptation to go back there is so high...oh should i or not??...Hahaha.... surprise everybody ...i went back there again today...and bought another 3 pair of shoes with one sport shoe...one singlet...one racket bag i guess so....hehehe...wow...wee...so excited...la la la la...And now after just come back from that warehouse sale, feel a little bit tired and thirsty...but still feel happy... :) yehaa!!!!

i already bought suitable and comfortable shoe for my company trip to iceland this coming November...Oh yeah...i never blog about that matter right...So everybody, insyaallah i'll be going to Iceland this coming November...Iceland is waiting for me there...i'm so excited..however feel a bit scared of the weather and unknown reason too as this is my first time going to oversea...hahah...so kampung kan i nie...what ever it is...i'm still excited and happy....la la la...feel like singging at the moment...maybe i'll continue by putting some of the shoes picture that i bought today...later i'll update k...love u all...

Me and shoes...

So happy at the moment...today I went to "NOSE" warehouse sale at Subang Jaya...wandering of shoes all days...shoes...shoes...and shoes...hehe...girls are always like that right...obsess of shoes. I'm one of that shoes freak i guess...hahah...I went there and bought 4 pairs of shoes. I bought one pink, stripe, yellow and white color shoes. So happy that i manage to find those shoes from all the bundle of shoes on the rack. Some look so terrible, lucky i get the brand new and nice one. But need to put some effort to find out from dozen of shoes in the rack..huh...some more, the place is so stuffy and small...I was sweating while choosing those shoes.However cause I am that shoes freak still can bare with it....hehehe....thank so much to Nahla my officemate who bring me there...i would be lost if i went there alone....hehehe...well u all know me...i'm always fail with road and direction...just know how to go to work and went back home...and i also know how to go to klcc too cause it near my home....hahahah...a big laugh from me...Later i'll upload those 4 pairs of shoes picture that i've bought.

B.O.R.E.D

When i feel bored..
I will wandering around..
I will looking at people...
I will looking at the scenery...

Is this a wonderful moment to enjoy...
My brain is not functioning well right now...
Feel like do not know what to do...
This make my stress level going up...

Doing nothing can make you stress?
I think it's true...
Thinking what to do next...
Thinking what else left for you to perform...

Oh...this is bothering me...
I feel like wanna laying down at my bed...
Enjoying this moment to sleep and have wonderful dreams..
Getting into beautiful and exciting wonderland...

(-_-) eyza

what a bored day...

oh...I feel damn bored...if it continue like this, i don't think i can stay here long...so bored at the moment...oh...what should i do..no task to complete...i need to be creative to complete the day...aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...please help me...anyboody have extra work for me to do...let me perform it...

how should i describe myself now...i feel like lost in a strange island where i'm all alone and nothing to do...huhh....I also feel like my brain will have dead brain if this continue....i think i should study java now....but i need to have the study mood in order for me to capture this programming language...uhhh...go to work with no work also can make you stress too...cause now i need to think what activity should i do in order to fulfill my day...

yooooo....i think i should make a poem or creating songs at the moment...so that i won't feel that bored and feel like dying waiting to complete the 8 hours working time today...or anybody have suggestion for me??what should i do?? a lot of question marks in my head right now....?????

(-_-) sob...sob...sob...waaaaa......

Jari-jemari...

jari-jemariku ligat menaip..
jari-jemariku terus-terusan berjasa...
jari-jemari ini juga mengikut rentaknya..
sekali sekala jari-jemari ini menghiburkan jiwa...

mungkin kita tidak sedar..
mungkin kita rasakan remeh...
mungkin banyak yg alpa...
anugerah Illahi yg istimewa ini..

walaupun jari jemari ini kecil...
tp tugasnya begitu hebat..
membantu menyiapkan kerja...
membantu kehidupan seharian kita..

aku bersyukur ke hadrat Illahi..
kerna menganugerahkan jari-jemari ini...
jari-jemari yang begitu telus...
menemaniku walau apa jua rintangannya...

Nukilan : eyza

Hatiku ini...

Saat dan ketika ini..
Aku terasa diri ini seperti tidak mampu menanggung..
Menahan sebak didada...
Menahan air mata...

Pelbagai persoalan timbul dihatiku...
Apa lagi yang dia mahukan dari aku..
Tidak puas lagikah hati ini dilukainya...
Masih kurangkah penyeksaan yang diberikan kepadaku..

Aku begitu keliru...
Aku begitu naif untuk memahami..
Aku begitu kusut memikirkannya..
Aku tak mampu merungkai apa disebalik semua ini...

Sudah aku noktahkan hubungan itu...
Sudah aku hanyutkan perasaan itu..
Sudah aku buang memori indah itu...
Telah kukosongkan hatiku ini...

Namun kala aku mengubat luka dihatiku ini...
Engkau menjelma semula...
Mendamba kasih lama yang telah berkuburan...
Mengharapkan aku akan kembali padamu...

Jawapannya sama sekali "TIDAK"
Aku tidak mahu engkau wujud lagi dalam hidupku..
Aku tidak mahu hati aku terus terseksa...
Aku tidak mahu hidup aku terus merana...

Di sini aku hanya memohon..
Lepaskan diriku ini...
Biarkan aku bebas...
Seperti camar yang terbang luas di angkasa...

Biarkan aku gembira seperti insan lain...
Biarkan aku mengecapi bahagia kembali...
Biarkan aku bisa tersenyum and tertawa...
Jangan berdarahkan kembali luka di hatiku ini...

Aku hanya mahukan kebahagian itu...
Aku hanya mahukan kehidupanku kembali...
Kehidupan sebelum aku mengenalimu dulu...
Kala aku begitu tenang dan menikmati setiap ruang kehidupan....

Luahan hatiku: eyza

Kehidupan...

Kehidupan...
Keindahan yg tak terucap kala kebahagian yg kulalui...
Keperitan yg tak terucap jua kala malapetaka menimpa...
Senyuman dan tawa ria kala kegembiraan melanda...
Tangisan dan kedukaan kala kesedihan menimpa...

Kehidupan...
Aku diajar erti kehidupan kala aku dilahirkan lagi..
Aku diajar erti kesusahan hidup dr zaman kecilku...
Aku diajar erti kebahagian bersama keluargaku..
Walaubagaimana ombaknya aku tetap laluinya...

Kehidupan...
Aku hampir meniti kematian satu saat dahulu...
Aku hampir lenyap dlm dunia ini...
Menutupi mata meninggalkan kehidupan ini..
Namun aku masih di sini kerna belum ajalku...

Kehidupan...
Pelbagai yang telah kutempuhi...
Kadang2 aku rasa ingin mengalah menempuhi dugaannya...
Namun aku perlu terus berdiri..
Demi org2 tersayang di sampingku...

Kehidupan...
Berapa lama lagi mampu aku bertahan...
Berapa banyak dugaan lagi...
Atau mungkin ini kehidupan yang aku perlu tempuhi...
Onak2 berduri di samping disulami bunga2 indah disisinya...

Nukilan : eyza

Friends and Family...

I love Ramadhan month so much...i can spent time together with friends and family during sahur or break fast. What a wonderful moment of it...spending time with the one that we love and appreciate people around us. I really love the time when we can enjoy the food together with all the joy and laugh. During this time, i can meet all my friends from childhood, university friends, ex-officemate and also officemate. Wow...it is awesome right...we can chit chat and gossip during that time too (leh kurang pahala pose aku) ...hehehe...erm..what ever it is...this Ramadhan month is such a bless month which give you lots of blessing from Allah and also can strengthen the relationship among family and friends too. I love it so much....Here are some pictures taking from my break fast activity with friends and family. Enjoy it...love you all... :)